Updated: Apr 9
Our energy is not just the effect of food versus energy spent. In another of our blogs (Managing your energy in a post lockdown world) there are four aspects that we must pay attention to in order to achieve wellness and effectiveness. These energy categories are Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual energy. If you want to know more then check out that blog where we discuss those aspects in detail.
In this article we want to talk about how the people in our lives affect our energy and how it is possible to have a strategy that manages the impacts that can cause an imbalance in our energy.
We all know people who affect our energy in both good and bad ways. This article is about being in control with a plan that helps you to identify who to include or avoid at those very times and places where your energy can be impacted. You will already be aware of situations and people that leave you exhausted or over energetic and being able to plan for those in a way that will manage your energy and bring it back to where you want it to be is a really useful strategy.
Secondly, it is useful to know if you are the type of person that finds being with people in general is an energy gain or energy drain. Yes, we do generally split into one of these two groups and you may already be aware of the group you fall into most of the time.
So, let’s start with how people affect our energy in different ways :-
There are people who bring energy into our lives, they recharge our heart and soul and we look forward to them spending time with us. They can be inspiring, nurturing and bring life to our very existence – we are happy and content in their presence. We buzz and even raise our game once these energising people have been with us.
And then there are those who we know who are almost the exact opposite of all of that. They leave us feeling down, numb, angry and miserable and have a negative affect on our energy. We all know someone who has had this affect on us, and may still be doing so.
It’s an interesting thing that no matter what, people will always affect us and knowing that fact means that we can start to understand and use that knowledge to plan and choose how we have those people in our lives, and when it is best for them to be with us.
After all, it is impossible to avoid all of the people that have a negative affect on us, they may be close family and total avoidance may not be an option. So, what we are advocating here is some conscious planning, along with an overall strategy of making the best of people in your circle that make your heart sing and mitigating the effects of those who don’t.
In general, the people in your life can be categorised into three groups. Remember, this is only categorising them for the way they affect YOU – the experience of others of that person may be completely different. So, the first thing to do is understand the categories before allocated them to individuals.
The categories are:
Positives: with subcategories of Happy’s, Buzzers and Wonder listeners. These are people who are full of energy and promise. They can lift you up with the way they interact with you and the world. Like personal charging cables they can fill your battery to 100% quickly by blowing away the negative with activity, fun or just be helping you let go with listening.
Coaches and Mentors: with subcategories of Balancers and grounders, Quiet stabilisers and Feedbacks. These people help bring your energy back into a neutral state. Having access to these in your people circle is useful for when you have too much or not enough of the right energy such as anxiety, being hyper critical or over enthusiastic.
Negatives: with subcategories of Replicators and Non-changers, The Fakes and Toxic. These are never useful so identifying them and understanding how you can minimise and mitigate your time with these people is key.
As you have gone through these categories you will have noticed that you already understand what each of them represents by way of behaviours and that you have probably already identified those in your existing people circle and that you can easily allocate to one or maybe more than one subcategory. As an exercise it is useful to make a map of your people circle, noting the traits that each has so that you can use this intelligence when executing your energy plan.
The second thing to add into the mix is to understand which of the two energy groups you generally fall into that we mentioned earlier.
Are you :-
A. Someone who loves to be around people and needs people contact to feel energised. You actively seek social interaction and eagerly plan your next people encounters?
B. Someone who finds being with people in general a drain on their energy and has to be alone to re-energise after being in a social situation. You pick and choose your contact with people and look forward to solitude?
Knowing this about yourself is an important aspect of this exercise because it helps you wisely choose the people and situations that will help you manage your energy and will be a key part of your energy plan.
Now that you have created your ‘people energy map’ and know which energy group you generally fall into, the third thing is to create your plan, which will have three main areas.
1. Recognising your energy sources. Who from your people circle can boost your energy and be relied on to be available when you need them.
2. Planning for energy drains and imbalances. Taking control of when those energy challenges are going to happen, how you can minimise the time and impact of the person who provides the challenge and what type of person will help bring your energy back to where you want it to be.
3. Planning your energy recharge times. What do you need to do for you to recharge your energy and get back up to full charge? Who in your people circle will provide that and will be available when you need them?
The final stage of this exercise to refine your plan, overlay your own personal energy needs – your overall need for people for energy or not – and look at how your day/week/month can be managed to maximise the potential for energy throughout.
For example, if you are a person who gets energy from people and have no social engagements for whatever reason, then plan zoom calls with groups of friends, and even get togethers when the current restrictions are lifted for times when you know that your energy will be compromised, such as after having to spend time with difficult clients or family.
And that is it! You most likely are already doing a some of this quite unconsciously, and this is because we naturally gravitate towards certain people for certain moments in our lives. As humans we instinctively understand the circumstances that dictate our own personal energy highs and lows, which is why our people circle is what it is! It already works on some level and now, and with this knowledge you can be really effective and smart in how you manage your energy, cutting down the negatives and creatively bringing in the positives, mentors and coaches that will bring balance, happiness and energy into your life.
And as a final thought - what kind of energy are you to others in your people circle, and even further, what kind of energy do you want to be? – now that’s really interesting food for thought.
Don’t delay – get even smarter in managing your energy!
Book a free coaching session with a Shared Inspiration Coach who believes in you.
Joan Haines email@example.com
Tel: +44 7813 299957
Jacci Wright firstname.lastname@example.org
Tel: +44 7776 378475
We would love to help you build resilience in continuing lockdown!