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Flexibility - a great strategy to manage change

Updated: Sep 13, 2021

Why could we consider flexibility?


  • You can manage yourself well even when change is making it hard

  • adapting again quickly after change is an option

  • small flexible change is an option

  • useful behaviours, thoughts and actions can be helpful


What is flexibility about?

Some definitions of flexibility include – the ability to bend without breaking – to move naturally, to adapt and change direction – to compromise when this would be useful.

Sometimes being flexible is absolutely the right response. Not being too rigid. Not only sticking to the same old ways that might not be serving you well.

Some useful questions to promote flexibility that you can ask yourself are:

  • ‘How useful is this behaviour to me?’

  • ‘Is this behaviour serving me well?’

  • ‘What is my intended outcome?’

  • ‘What is their outcome?’

Can you imagine what would happen to a tree in gale force winds if it did not flex and bend as the gale raged? Or a high-rise block of flats that didn’t move in the same gale force winds? Imagine what could happen if no-one ever allowed traffic to merge into different lanes when necessary … some sort of compromise is often very useful in getting along well with ourselves and with others …

This ability to ‘move naturally’, be a bit more flexible and adapt to continuing lockdown could be a useful strategy not only to get through this time - but to find pleasure and purpose in it …


Flexibility - What it is:

  • about increasing your choices

  • a way to promote even more resilience

  • easy to practise and learn

  • ethical

Flexibility - What it is NOT:

  • weak

  • un-principled

  • losing your sense of control and order

It requires flexibility to be aware of your own view and see something from another’s perspective. Sometimes flexibility in relationships is the key to happy, fulfilling relationships.

Flexibility can be a habit that we can adopt, practise, learn and enjoy benefitting from.


How to practise flexibility:

Think about your behaviours during the long Covid lockdowns. Even in this context you still have choices in what you think and what you decide to do. You can give yourself permission to make different choices and to try stuff and see what happens. The more choices you have, the more flexibility you have and the greater the chance you have of getting your desired outcomes.

How often do you find yourself saying ‘I should…’ ?

For example, ‘I should wash the car’, ‘I should lose weight’. ‘I should clean the kitchen’ …

Over-use of the word ‘should’ tends to close down your sense of choice and may limit your behaviour.

You are more likely to be motivated to do something if you feel you have some control in how you manage our own life. Flexibility in making choices can give you a greater sense of managing yourself well.

Here a few more examples of some ‘shoulds‘ :

‘I should do some physical activity every day’

‘I should eat more healthily’

‘I should decorate the living room’

What are your ‘shoulds’?

Write your ‘shoulds’ down.

I should …

I should …

I should …

I should …

Now re-write your thoughts – if you change the word ‘should’ to ‘could’ … How does that make you feel?

Have a go at capturing some thoughts about some useful behaviours for you …

Write four of your thoughts as ‘coulds’ … Write four thoughts that finish this sentence - ‘In continuing lockdown I could …’

For example:

  • ‘In continuing lockdown I could walk for half an hour every day’

  • ‘In continuing lockdown I could get eight hours sleep each night’

  • What are your ‘could’s?’ in continuing lockdown?

  • How does changing your ‘shoulds’ to ‘coulds’ make you feel ?

This simple practice could help to open-up your thinking and make you even more flexible!

It could give you more of a feeling of being ‘in the driving seat’, exercising more flexibility and making choices of what behaviours are useful to you when you are in the chaos of change.


What if you are able to be more flexible?

Here’s a thought for the day:

There is a Neuro-Lingusitic Programming (NLP) pre-supposition which says:

( Read more: ‘The Neuro- Lingusitic Workbook : The practical way to get great results’ Judy Bartkowiak ).

Don’t delay – keep learning, growing and flexing!

For transformational coaching, book a free introductory Session with a Shared Inspiration Coach who believes in you. The first session is always free!

To find out more about Havening Techniques® and to book a free 30 minute consultation call

Joan Haines, Certified Havening Techniques® Practitioner

07813 299957

We would love to walk beside you on your flexibility journey!


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